I am a Survivor!! I am still STANDING!

A Survivor. What does it really mean? I suppose it means that you have survived and have learned to function as a person, regardless of the hardship or misfortunes your life path sent you on. You are the one person who learned how to cope with life’s pitfalls.  You beat the odds. You came through with great courage. You are the one who picked yourself up and dusted yourself off and kept charging forward.  Survivor I am. 



More to come…




What is verbal and emotional abuse?

Is it possible that you can be conditioned into living a domestic life under that umbrella of verbal and emotional abuse for many years and not know it or perhaps even realize it? What is domestic abuse anyway?  Well for one, domestic means in relation to in running a home or family relations.  Abuse means an improper way of treatment.  So what does it mean? What is the legal definition of Domestic Violence in California?

Is it possible that at one point in your life, your life was so horrible that jumping into a new relationship that verbally and emotionally abuses you, let alone degrades you as a mother or woman is a better life for you?  Is it possible that once you hear those verbal assaults about your persona, style, looks, thought process, lifestyle, care giving, cook, friendships,  etc that you begin to believe them and accept them EVEN though somewhere deep inside you have a little girl still wanting to hear something nice? You try and try to impress only to fail each and every time?

Personally, I feel like the battle scars that you’ve endured throughout life and are hidden deep  inside your soul hurt the most.  They are more painful than visual topical scars.  Could it be because we don’t expose them and latch on real tight afraid to feel ashamed or embarrassed?   Visual scars however don’t come with much pain.   When I look at my scars, I have a faint recollection of how I got the scars to begin with.  I feel like mental and emotional scars are tougher to heal because as with cuts, you naturally need to expose the cut to air in order to heal quick. However, you can also go the other route. You can clean your cut, use Neosporin and bandage it up as what we would do with Professionals.  This is why we have many professionals in this field.  You can also choose to go the natural route.  I tend to go naturally and hope that I will get stronger, however if my wounds don’t heal, I will resort to a professional.


So back to verbal abuse. I want to know if there are many degrees of verbal and emotional abuse? What if you are just an overly sensitive person?  What if all your life you were brought up with rainbows, butterflies and unicorns and one day someone made a comment about, let’s say … your cooking and said, “I wouldn’t feed this shit to my dog?!”  Would your world come crashing down into despair or would you take it and say, “Well my dog is gonna eat like a King!”  I feel like this situation can go both ways depending on how you were brought up.  Can I claim verbal and emotional abuse? What if I have a tough core? Should we bring up our kids into developing a tough core so that when situations like these arise, they protect themselves? So what are the different types of abuse? Let’s find out here. types of abuse?

Let’s find out.

Monday 1.6.14

It’s Monday! So many things surface when I have alone time. I’m glad I rarely have it but when I do, I can write and write and write. I want to believe that I may have been a writer in my past life or was given this path in life to experience trauma, tragedy, loss, pain, grief, turmoil, despair, anger, depression, anxiety, emotional, physical and verbal abuse in life. The positive however, is that I have lived in a mental place where I do see seasonal changes.  Not everything in my life has been cold, grey, dark, rainy, dreary and foggy. I’ve seen rainbows, butterflies and unicorns from time to time.

A question I often ask myself is how child sexual abuse and physical abuse effect and shape a male/female into adulthood.  What are the negative effects on these victims when they grow up and become adults.  Do they fail at relationships or become more protective? How is their thought process? How do they continue to love and function? How do they process information? How are their decision and rational skills? Do we inherit our personalities or are they developed as a result of your upbringing and more specifically are they shaped based off your sexual and physical abuse?  I tend to believe that your environment shapes your personality. Your thought process and decision-making skills are based on what you have witnessed and experienced in your environment.  I also believe that you have a sprinkling of nature in you because your personality will remind you of a close relative.  

I am here because I want to help other women, children, mother’s, fathers, sons anyone for that matter who took the wrong exit in life. Not by choice but by force.